Dear Mom [April 12th]

Dear Mom,

What a day. You would never guess what I did. Well... you maybe have. You always know what I do. I have been a good enviromentalist! But today has been good for the most part.

Listening to Tyler Ward ( http://www.youtube.com/user/TylerWardMusic#p/u/5/-QRAa7_NeIE ) which he is awesome! I would have his babies any day of the week - actually not really but I would love to reproduce with him and his great body but minus the having his babies haha. Thought you would love to know that. Maybe you didn't... oh well. You gotta agree, he is damn fine. And he lives here in Colorado. :D


Now I know I must answer then annoying parental question (by the way, does this change when I move out? I would love you forever if that does): What have I learned today? You're gonna love this.

So I learned that Odontophobia is the fear of teeth. I would hate to be afraid of my teeth. And fake teeth... those things are already creepy enough as it is. Like that one time on American Pie: Book of Love when the old lady took them out so blow that one guy who couldn't get any... yeah... and then she died on his you know what.... thats a shitty way to die, just saying.

Yeah, uh-huh you know what it is . Black & Yellow Black & Yellow Black & Yellow Black & Yellow. Just needed to get that out.

I also learned that according to suicide statistics, Monday is the favored day for self-destruction. Now why Monday? Thats a shitty day. I would go with Wednesday. It's known as hump day. You were just done humping every week so you made it to the final hump and couldn't take it anymore. That would be the perfect reason. Well not really but still.

The most money ever paid for a cow in an auction was $1.3 million. Now, I hope to god a certain person didn't spend that much money on the cow they bought. Thats a rip off. Do you know how much off their shit we deal with. You can't recycle it!

Cats can hear ultrasound. How the hell do they know that? Do they have talking cats? I am not talking about catwoman.

I need to actually write a blog one day with an actual purpose.... NAH!

This man above is amazing. That is Tyler Ward. I would be down for him. Just saying. He is great looking, has a voice that would melt my heart and make me do anything for him. I would cook him dinner and you know I do nothing but bitch about cooking. Thats how good looking he is. :D

Questions before I go pass out in my room:

1. Now I know it's not normal to ask this mom but do you think people would think I am weird and be afraid if I barked at everyone who passes me tomorrow? I wanna really try that out.

2. What sounds better: Pasta or Philly Steaks?

3. If vodka was water and I was a duck, could I swim to the bottom and never come up? No water's not vodka and I'm not a duck. What the fuck ever, I need a duck.

Ah my life.

I <3 You mama.
Your weird child